(I returned home to a dead computer. Hopefully I'll have a new one soon. I am alive and doing well though.)

I Went to Bali and All I Got Was This Lousy Photo Album

Saturday the 17th:
We departed at 11am from DFW on Korean Air to Seoul, Inchon. During the course of the flight we had three movies: Terminator Salvation, The Coming of CHAW, and State of Play. Except for The Coming of CHAW, which was subtitled in English, the movies were all in, I assume, Korean, subtitled in.. Korean? Japanese? Cantonese? We couldn't tell. Seoul airport was amazingly nice, and I beat my mom at Scrabble.

The second flight featured Transformers 2, again without an English option. If you like Korean food or American food that still tastes close to Korean food, and if you don't mind movies in Korean, then feel free to fly Korean Air. Honestly, I don't think I'd fly it again unless I had no other choice. The flight itself on Korean Air isn't bad at all, but I really could not stand the food and when it's 15 hours with 2 meals and both taste pretty horrible you get cranky.

Monday the 19th:
Crossing the international date line made us arrive at 1am on Monday where we were taken to our first hotel - Legong Keraton. The driver spoke English very well, but some of the translations were humorously off, which was common and rather endearing. He described a regular town as a "jungle village," I assume because we were from the States and he assumed we'd never seen a jungle. My first impression of Indonesian traffic can be summed up in one word: INSANE.

Onkel Steffan, my sister-in-law's uncle, treated us to lobster, shrimp, sate ayam (chicken on skewers in a peanut sauce), various appetizers which I've since forgotten the names of and various fruits including some native to Indonesia like mangis and salak. We took a walk on the beach which was my first time to the ocean. I truly enjoyed it a great deal. The water was dangerous to swim in, but the locals surfed since they knew what they were doing owing to the fact that they had been doing it basically all their lives.

My mom turned on the TV when we got to our room. Soap operas are apparently really big in Indonesia and are also much more ridiculous than many others in other countries. Supposedly they make "All My Children" and such look classy.

Tuesday the 20th:
We traveled to the city of Ubud and got to our new hotel, Tegal Sari. The driver, Wi, is a great guy, but he kept calling my brother Jim, since Jeff is hard for the Indonesians to pronounce. This place was amazing and we were so well taken care of. The shopping took me aback since I wasn't used to haggling the price. At one shop, the guys tried to entice us by declaring their wares as having "sexy price." And you wouldn't believe how many people offered transport. Upon looking at several signs, we surmised everyone's second profession. For example: Doktor Gigi- Dentist, Driver. (I failed to obtain a picture. Sad panda.)

Wednesday the 21st:
"A Morning of Pampering" the option read. All of us went to the Zen Bali Spa and received a massage, an exfoliating body wash, a floral or milk bath according to our choosing, facial, hair treatment, manicure, and pedicure. The cost? 50 USD. Ludicrously amazing. Later that night, we watched the Legong dance and the Barong dance. I LOVED IT. Afterward, we ate at the Dirty Duck where, if you want the best duck, you order a day in advance like we did. This ensured a fresh duck killed just for you. That night my brother treated me to dadar gulung which is a green pancake/crepe (I have no idea why it's green, it tastes like a regular pancake/crepe) with palm sugar and coconut inside.

Thursday the 22nd:
During the day we bought sarongs, a length of fabric worn as a kilt for men and a skirt for women. It is required to wear a sarong and sash inside all the temples. Thankfully, you can pick your pattern, or color, of each.

Our driver was Daywa, another kind gentleman who speaks English very well, having learned it himself, and not from a school, which made it more impressive.

By now I was used to Balinese traffic which consists of a constant flow of cars and scooters. Stop lights are only seen in the big cities. Sometimes even a timer is shown, counting down till your light will turn green. I even saw some lights that switched from red to yellow before turning green.

The most astonishing thing is how well all the drivers knew the distance of their vehicles in relation to everything else. Almost all the streets that went two way could be considered one way in the U.S. Several times we passed cars so close I'm sure I could have reached out and touched the other car. The rear view mirrors were about two inches apart. Sometimes the edge of the road had a sheer two foot drop, but I never once saw anyone fall inside.

Scooters split lanes, and horns were used constantly, but not in an aggressive manner. On the contrary, they were small beeps that served to merely state "I am here." The amount of things people could fit on their scooters was stunningly awesome. I saw a mom and her four kids on one. Anything they could manage to put on it they did.

Oh, and supposedly the legal age to drive is 17, but in the smaller villages this isn't enforced. I saw a 9 year old driving around on the road on a scooter.

Anyways, first we went to Gunung Kawi, the 11th century tombs where my brother accidentally stepped in a rice paddy. He was lucky since it only went up to his ankle. I had seen workers tending their field and it usually is about knee high. There we were also informed about how cockfights were conducted since we noticed roosters all over the place. If you lost the fight not only did you lose the chicken, but the chicken itself! The victor would take it home and cook it, so nothing was wasted. Then, we went to Tirta Empul, the holy springs. There the people came to make offerings and swim in one of the springs to cleanse themselves - not in a physical way, but spiritual.

At one of the shrines I noticed a basket for donations sitting out in the open with no one watching it. I was surprised, but one of the caretakers informed me that no one steals. Seriously, the penalty for stealing can be being chased down angry villagers and beaten to death which is a big incentive to not do it. A friend of a friend that had come a previous time had been having lunch at a restaurant where he accidentally left his camera on the table. When he noticed it missing several hours later he came back to find it in the exact same spot as he left it.

More family and friends arrived from Belgium. These people know how to drink and eat. Instead of having a dinner out for maybe an hour or two they make it an evening occasion with several courses and a constant refill of alcohol. It was really refreshing to not feel rushed. My mom got sick in the middle of the night. Upon describing the symptoms to my brother he had the honor of explaining that she wasn't coming down with anything, but merely that she had a hangover. LOL.

Friday the 23rd:
Firstly we went to the temple of Kerta Gosa which displays the afterlife, and shows how particular sins are punished, but also what you achieve if your karma was good.

Afterward, we made our way up the side of the volcano Mount Agung to Pura Besakih, otherwise known as the Mother Temple, one of the most holiest of temples for the Hindu. Huge. Gorgeous. Or, as they say in Indonesian, "bagus." (Pronounced bah-goose.)

At this point, I inquired about the dogs I've seen everywhere. We knew there were strays - many, many, many strays, more commonly referred to as feral dogs. They aren't really pets in Bali, but are merely used as guard dogs, watching the entrance to the house (since there is only one) while their masters are away. Apparently this works well despite their size. None looked like they weighed more than 35 pounds.

Saturday the 24th:
We took a bike tour down the mountain side with our hired tour guides from the company Bike Baik. (Baik is pronounced "bike." ) They were very conscientious of our health and made sure we had plenty of water. For extra safety they had a truck following us with extra bikes. Partway through we stopped to be shown the different types of plants Bali grew. The strangest exhibit was the Asian Palm Civet which is used to make Kopi Luwak, a rare type of coffee. Our guide was also very nice at describing what purpose each plant had, including ginseng which was declared to give energy, enhance semen count, and, in that regard, it "make man strong and woman happy."

Oh yes, and this was also my first encounter with a traditional Balinese toilet. Imagine a port-a-potty except it's a squat toilet and there's no toilet paper only a hose to wash yourself off with. I had never been so happy for carrying tissues in my purse in my whole life. Speaking of toilets, most of the bowl toilets had two options of flushing - a big flush and a little flush. America needs to get in on this and waste less water.

In the evening we visited the Monkey Forest. Damn, it isn't a stereotype that they love bananas. Also, they are wily thieves, as one snatched Kim's water bottle out of her hand, took off the cap with his mouth, and drank that sucker dry.

Sunday the 25th:
I dragged my mom to the Taro elephant park aka Bali Adventure Tours. I had never been so close to an elephant before and I loved it. These were Sumatran elephants which are endangered so they are well cared for. Their skin is rough, similar to a callous, and their hair is coarse, but in regards to personality they were very gentle. We watched the show where they performed tricks (with the apropos music "Elephant Walk") before we took a ride on one. I've sadly forgotten the name of my elephant. After a walk with my big, grey friend, we made our way to our next Hotel in Denpasar - the Tropical Bali Hotel, owned by a very nice, gay Swedish man. We were really too tired to do anything else, but we swam a bit, read a bit, and retired for the night.

Monday the 26th:
Eva and I had a bit of a day together. We met up with the other girls at La Lucciana, a restaurant on the beach. There we had a hen (bachelorette) party for Kim which involved a collection of yes/no questions Kim had to read aloud before consulting Magical Willy, the Magic 8 Ball in phallic form. The bachelor party involved going to Waterborn, the water park. Many of us girls were quite jealous, as we took the consolation prize of another spa visit that none of us were really keen on. We only got manicures and pedicures for the wedding. Then we went to Ellie's, a villa that was booked full of Jeff and Kim's friends. All eight rooms, hahaha.

Tuesday the 27th:
We moved to Villa Pushpapuri which was also the location of the wedding. This place would have easily run about $1000 a night by U.S. standards.

It was strange seeing a volcanic beach, which I suggest one thing if you're going to swim in one: do WHATEVER YOU CAN to not get coated in sand. It's super fine and sticks like Hell. I was still digging granules out of my ears for about a week. I got a Thai massage which is the best massage I've had yet. It stretches your muscles, but not painfully, and I nicknamed it the ass massage because they really work on that for awhile, roflcopter. Nothing more exciting happened, just had dinner with the family.

Wednesday the 28th:
The ceremony took place which was absolutely beautiful. Words can't really describe it, so I'll let the pictures and movies do it for me when they're available. (My camera's battery had died beforehand and we couldn't recharge it because of the wacko electrical sockets being too far recessed.) Dinner was amazing, and everyone danced except for the grandparents seeing as they were rather frail.

Oh, and I caught the bouquet. XD! Any ladies want to go out on a date? Lawl. No, seriously...

Thursday the 29th:
Just a day of relaxation. We checked back into Legong Keraton, slept, read, and ate a family dinner on the beach. My mom and I were really beat.

Friday the 30th:
Seriously, a boring, lazy day. We sat around Ellie's reading and hanging out.

Saturday the 31st:
Flight took off at 1:40am from Bali. Watched My Sister's Keeper and Night at the Museum 2. Then they had some goofy recording of a Korean concert which I did not watch. Arrived at 9:50am in DFW, but didn't leave until 11am due to customs and crap. Experienced huge jet lag.

Verdict: totally supreme awesome pow wow fantastic pizzaz fun time.

CURRENT PHOTO ALBUM!

Anyone interested in visiting Bali should check out The Rough Guide to Bali and Lombok. If you're going to Indonesia, Bali is the place to go. Muslims occupy the rest of the islands and they aren't very friendly.