juno

Howdy! For those who are interested, I still live. I am indeed working through my BA while fighting with my disorders, but overall things are going relatively well. I've been working on Nowhere! I really, truly, do want to finish it. (For reference I have 94 of 1XX chapters done at the moment. Don't be scared about the 1XX, it shouldn't be above 120.) I plan on releasing a chapter a week on AO3 as an incentive to write more. The idea is I should be finishing it up while making regular updates, then I can hopefully dump the ending in a fit of glory. We'll see. Pandora's Box will be the next big one after that and oh boy, has it already gone through a lot of editing already. Thanks for tuning in!

Hey there, people who are still interested in my life. Here's my routine (every few years) check up to talk about my personal life as well as what's happening creatively and what my (always) tentative plan for the future is.

So, good news. Still doing okay. The depression and anxiety are mostly manageable and I'm rather high functioning. In fact, I'm trying my best to finally - FINALLY - get my Bachelor's. (Majoring in anthropology if you're interested. If you know me, this shouldn't be a surprise.) The plan is to graduate the end of this year, but uh... yeah, we'll see how that goes.

I haven't been too active with my fan works, at least not in a way that would be noticeable since everything is a hodgepodge of varying states of completion and of course with me being me I picked up a new fandom (MCU).

However, I haven't given up on DBZ. Even if I never complete my other works I definitely *want* to finish Pandora's Box and Nowhere, and not out of a sense of obligation, but just because I like those stories too damn much. I've been editing/reworking Pandora's Box and, while I've made several significant changes, the plot is the same. I really tried to give the characters more depth and a more honest representation even within their context.

Nowhere is up to chapter 94 and if I calculate correctly it should end somewhere in the 110-120 range. If you guys have liked Nowhere, I will highly suggest rereading it when I release the "Director's Cut" because several chapters got completely redone. Keep in mind that when I started Nowhere it didn't actually have a story line. (Here's a bit of trivia: I had originally intended it to be about Vegeta and Bulma.) This is why it made sense to me to remove entire scenes and replace them. So if one of your favorite scenes got nixed, I apologize and hope the replacement at least meets your expectations.

Hope you all are doing well. And feel free to e-mail me if you need a question answered.

Hey, it's been awhile hasn't it? That was only semi-rhetorical. Of course it has.

So what have I been up to for about three years? Well, living. Which is always a good thing. The thing about depression is that it's like an uphill struggle and you never quite reach the top. Just when you think things are good something happens to remind you that you're not. Even if that something is nothing happening at all except your mood changing for inexplicable reasons.

Which is okay, because I'm not striving for perfection. The only thing that bothers me is the painful lack of motivation. This should be obvious since my updates are so few and far between.

I have been doing some things for myself. And I have been doing some writing as well. Original stuff as well as fan fiction. And yes, I intend to finish any of the major stories I have started, which includes Pandora's Box and Nowhere. In fact, Nowhere has been progressing along to the point that, if I've calculated correctly, it's a bit over 90% done.

I hope you get to hear more from me soon.

I hate that every time I make a posting here it's an explanation of bad news of why I've been away. Well, in the event that some people still follow me and care about me, here's a brief synopsis of this past year and a half.

• I moved to Colorado in April of 2012 in hopes to get away from awful Texas weather and to finish college.
• That November, I got two new roommates, both of whom were supposed to be friends of Kittenling.
  
• Kittenlord went into the hospital for pulmonary embolisms and nearly died.
• One roommate, let's call him Douchebag, went to the hospital, walking 5+ miles to see Kittenlord, to shout at Kittenlord in his drugged stupor, all the while constantly looking at his vitals. I don't think it's difficult to figure out his intentions. (Thank you, nurse, who caught him doing this.)
  
• Douchebag later went on to claim Kittenling (Kittenlord's wife) had an affair with the other roommate. All his "proof" was pure conjecture and not even good conjecture at that. This resulted in his immediate expulsion. He then admitted to looking at Kittenling as a mother, but he also had a crush on her. Yes. You read that right. He wanted a relationship with a married woman, but not just that, he has an Oedipus complex.
• I then became ill with Influenza A around New Year's which caused me to have so much nerve pain in my legs I was in tears and could barely walk.
• Not long after that, Kittenling's grandfather fell ill and she spent a month trying to help him while the rest of the family resigned themselves to him dying and basically spent their last days with him moping instead of trying to make the remainder of his time pleasant.
• Chibi Vegeta died in April, a week before I was flying out to visit her.
• That following weekend, my aunt died.
• The stress of everything gave me terrible acid reflux to the point where I was eating Tums like candy and still couldn't sleep because of the pain.
• The other roommate began treating Kittenling like shit, claiming he didn't care about her problems because he had to deal with his own. HINT: You do not do this to a friend, and you also do not do this to the person providing you shelter. He moved out in May.
  
• The compounded stress with so little options for outlet compelled me to do something I hadn't done since I was a teenager -- I started smoking again.
  
• I then found out that the company I work for had decided to discontinue part-time employee health benefits.
• In June, Kittenling and Kittenlord asked me to move out because they need... well... their space. I returned to Texas at the end of July. I also discontinued smoking.
  
• My father required neck surgery at the end of September. Thankfully, everything went smoothly.
• Because I had been out of state for so long, my old psychiatrist would need to book me as a new patient. She's not seeing new patients until the new year. Her loss because I just found a very awesome guy much closer to home.
• After getting resounding feedback from friends and family, I have now undergone a change in my medicine. The withdrawals were so bad the only time I was at peace was when I was unconscious. This lasted roughly a week.
  
• AND THEN A RAINBOW APPEARED. Metaphorically. I can't remember the last time I have ever felt so interested in being sociable and working on my hobbies. I mean, I've looked - Nowhere is about a decade old. How much more denial could I be in when I haven't even finished my favorite fic?
• IN CONCLUSION: If you're still with me, I truly appreciate it. I appreciate it more than you probably know and more than I could probably properly express. Thank you.
  

I know I should have posted this sooner, but it has been very difficult for me. A wonderful friend of mine passed recently. Rae, more commonly known as Legendary Chibi Vegeta, peacefully died in the early morning of April 16th. In accordance to her wishes she was cremated and no funeral was held. I will miss her dearly.